OUR STORY
Ten or so years after my grandma had passed away, I felt unmoored. I had gotten two master's degrees and had a good paying job and was connecting with my immediate family pretty regularly. However I still felt untethered. Not grounded. It's then that I realized: we had lost our matriarch. Our gravitational center that brought us back for the holidays and made us (or at least me) feel connected.
I reached out to a cousin and explained what I was feeling. Then I spoke to my sister who said she had actually begun meeting with some cousins for this same reason. I asked if we could join the call and soon we were meeting weekly and holding each other accountability sessions.
It turned out that I was a bit too ambitious with weekly meetings and getting feedback we pared it back to monthly check in calls with extended family. We also organized family trips, and emergency sessions for us to be of support when there is situation widespread (think pandemic, civil unrest, etc) worth discussing.
What struck us during our first conversations though was
- wow what a beautiful family we have
- wow look at how charming everyone is
- my goodness this type of love, support, and attention is good for our souls
- how much further along would be individually and as a family
Next I realized/thought:
- is this what white folks have been enjoying?
- is this why they worked so hard to break our families apart?
- is this the reason why they put us in jail?
So our goal is give every family a taste of these feelings and then eventually build a family culture where wisdom is shared, decisions are thoughtful and take into consideration the voices many, and certain level of behavior is expected. We also see this as an opportunity for political clout.
Plan
Not everything is perfect but so long as we are willing to get feedback (real feedback) and course correct, we'll figure this out. The most important thing is to stick together and continuously course correct.